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The start of our relationship was made in heaven: there was a lot of love and infatuation.
Suddenly after two months, everything was off, as he needed some “personal space.” We ended our relationship, but reconciled two months later.
It sounds to us like this man is encountering some sort of internal conflict each time the two of you take a step forward in your relationship.
Whenever you have a deep conversation in which you share your feelings or personal experiences or thoughts, he seems to take a step backward by avoiding you for several days and by not talking about your last date when you finally get together.
As many readers understand, it can be crazy-making and even infuriating to feel dismissed and shut down when you try to get close to someone you love. You might be mystified by accusations that you don’t care and are not there for your loved ones…when you feel that you do care for them and love them greatly.
If you are the avoidant person, you may feel equally confused by the unreasonable emotional demands and neurotic nature of the people you are in relationship with. The good and the bad news is that this pattern is totally normal…but this doesn’t mean that it feels good to be in a relationship with someone who detaches and deactivates their emotions when things get heated.
He's is truly a wonderful person and I can see myself building a life with him.
Dear Rosie & Sherry, I've been dating a man for the past three months.
They may even use shame as a means of control (“little boys don’t cry!
”) and are likely to be very intolerant of children challenging them or telling the parent how they feel.
This on and off pattern has been dragging on now for the past year and a half.
When he wants to see me, he is very romantic, caring, loving and open with me.